inworldofchaos

LIFE in a World of Chaos

Archive for the tag “Life”

and the cycle begins again…

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Depression in itself is a tough battle to overcome. We all go thru it in some points of our lives, though in far different ranges.

My husband, the father of my kids goes thru spells of depression & combat PTSD along with it. I am helpless and weak as the cycle of life begins again.

Where do I fit in? It’s a tough question to answer. I cannot imagine what he goes thru and I am afraid to even delve in the horrors of his ghosts past. It pains me to see him go thru this cycle over and over again. The distance and social withdrawal that comes with this cycle is what pains me the most. It creates tension in our home and it scares me endlessly. It scares me,  because his ability to think clear and make reasonable judgement is clouded by his fears and anger, hence he picks up project people along the way. To feel better of himself, I think. (He still couldn’t figure that one out either.)
Though painful as it may seem, at the end of the day, I assure him all is well and let him know I am by his side, just reach out when you want me to be a part of it, or need me to pull him out in the abyss of his hell.
In truth, I am dying inside. For our childrens sake, I have to be strong and be the pillar for him when he needs to pull himself back to reality. I have to be the light that shines his path back to our home. I have to be the one that makes sense out of all the chaos of his thoughts. I have to be the one who can make his stone cold heart beat back to life-

I won’t give up and I will never leave. I will be here beside you and journey this battle with you together.

Have a wonderful Sunday everyone!

© Katz Lukenovich 2016

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Happy Mother’s Day!

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Happy mother’s day to all the mothers in the world. May all of you enjoy the day. May this day be another special & fun day to share with family & friends. Have a beautiful day mothers!!!

 

© Kat Lukenovich 2012

Veteran’s Day

Today, I would like to thank all the men and women who served & currently serving in the military. Without your dedication and sacrifices, this world would never be what it is today. So thank you!               ¤ ¤ ¤

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I would like to say a special thanks to my father-in-law Michael who served in the Marines; brother-in-law Michael who served in the Army. Most of all a wonderful thanks to my busband Nikolai who served 18 yrs in the Army. The world is not enough to repay for all the services and sacrifices each & every one of you has made. We are all in debted to you. © Kat Lukenovich 2012

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